It All Started Because Of MSN
by Ms Amber
Summary: -COMPLETE, FOR NOW- What happens when our FMA characters go on MSN? A drunk Ed? A human-eating Scar? WHAT! And what else! Rated T for occasional swearing and happpy bashing. Will continue until I have a writer's block. Please R&R!
1. Day One

**It All Started Because Of MSN  
**_**by: **__iSleep_

...

**Summary:** Our FMA Characters are now on MSN, and it's totally FAIL! Now that Ed has an addiction to drinking and Roy is constantly being dumped, girl by girl, they use MSN to go and torture each other to feel better! I hope that made sense. Well, to make it pretty short, all the FMA characters are on MSN and it's going to make you laugh, guaranteed... I hope. Well, that's it!**  
Genre:** Humour (I mean... what else?)  
**Rating:** T (for any occasional swearing and for a bit of violence... through the computer!)  
**Characters:** All the FMA Characters, but I put in Edward/Alphonse for some odd reason

...

**PoX's Note:** Yawn... even after sleeping in I still feel drowsy... sigh. Well, I thought of this idea because of reading a Warriors FanFic. You probably don't know Warriors, because it's a series (for books), and you're probably thinking, 'Books are boring!' but some aren't, so you should start reading and grow smart! Okay, enough of the nerd talk. This story is EXACTLY as the title says. MSN. That's it. Not Facebook, not Twitter... MSN! Get that right. And I made sure it was funny and exactly like how YOU would go on MSN, if you DO have it, of course. And if you don't... you'll still understand the story. Happy New Year, peeps, by the way! I'm enjoying it... kind of.

...

**O_CoLoNeL bAsTaRd_O = Edward**

**KITTIES:3 = Alphonse**

**Wrench-Of-Death = Winry**

**. . = Roy**

**Scar = Scar**

...

**Day One**

...

Ed logged on to MSN and realised that **KITTIES:3 **was online. He clicked on the chat button and started chatting:

**O_CoLoNeL bAsTaRd_O says: **Hi kitty maniac Allie!

**KITTIES:3 says: **Umm... hi?

**O_ CoLoNeL bAsTaRd_O says: **So... uhh... how's life at home?

**KITTIES:3 says: **Niisan, I live in the same house as you, and it's hell at home because of my older brother.

**O_ CoLoNeL bAsTaRd_O says: **Ohhz yeah, you do. Hmm... you're older brother must be such a bitch, then, because he sounds like one. What did he do to annoy you?

**KITTIES:3 says: **Sigh... you're drunk again, not even knowing that I'm talking about you. Well, he won't let me keep a pet cat, he bugs me and eats apple pie in front of my face because he knows that I really want to eat some, and he also plays with my armour head thing.

**O_CoLoNeL bAsTaRd_O says: **Man you're brother is so mean. I feel sorry for you. Although you're brother is so similar to me, because I did that to my lil' bro too. It was fun

**KITTIES:3 says: **... I'm going.

**O_CoLoNeL bAsTaRd_O says: **So soon? Well, bye bye then!

**KITTIES:3 logged out.**

"Man, he's mean," Ed grumbled to himself. "I don't even know who he is. He pretends he's Al and all, but he's not. I'd better delete him."

And guess what?

He actually did. Not surprising, right?

"Okay, now that he's gone, who else is online?" Ed said.

Just as he said this, **Wrench-Of-Death **and **. . **logged in.

"Whoever called themself XD fried shrimp is awesome XD is awesome," Ed commented, and he typed to the person:

**O_CoLoNeL bAsTaRd_O says: **Yo, dude. You're name is awesome!

**. . says: **I'm glad you like it, Fullmetal. Except your name is not very nice...

**O_CoLoNeL bAsTaRd_O says: **Really? The name isn't nice? I named it that because there's this person who is a Colonel bastard so I just named myself that.

**. . says: **... You're not drunk, are you?

**O_CoLoNeL bAsTaRd_O says: **Of course I'm not, you dope! I'm all fine. So, if you think my name is that bad, what should I change it to?

**. . says: **Change it to 'RoyIsCool'. That's it.

**O_CoLoNeL bAsTaRd_O says: **That sounds AWESOME! You think of cool names, dude.

**. . says: **Yeah, I'm the best, aren't I?

**O_CoLoNeL bAsTaRd_O says: **Well, I'm off to change it now. Bye.

**O_CoLoNeL bAsTaRd_O logged out.**

"I don't think that he was changing his name..." Roy said to Riza. "He logged out."

"He's drunk, that's why," Riza explained. "And you should probably get off the computer, sir, because you haven't been doing any work for a week already."

"Well, I'm addicted to the computer, so leave me be, Lieutenant," Roy replied, turning his head back to the screen. "Hmm... Winry's online. Seeing that she's the only one online on my contact list, I'll just go and chat to her... although there's not much to talk about, anyway."

Then they chatted:

**. . says: **This is Winry I'm speaking to, right?

**Wrench-Of-Death says: **And who else can it be?

**. . says: **I don't know. Well, you do know that Fullmetal is drunk, right?

**Wrench-Of-Death says: **Like I didn't know. He became a alcoholic only a week ago.

**. . says: **ONLY a week ago? Well, he shouldn't be drinking, because he's too young to drink, and I don't even drink, OK?

"Sir," said Riza, interrupting. "You have been drinking, especially when you were with this pretty girl called Carla or so and she dumped you, like every other girl did, but you were so depressed that you drank until you started smashing the window of the bar."

"I actually did all that? Didn't I get caught?" asked the Colonel.

"No, sir, because I was there too, and I accused some random old drunken man of smashing the window instead of you."

"Well, thanks for that, Lieutenant. I really appreciate it."

"You're welcome, sir, but if you do that again, I won't be helping you any longer."

"Okay..." Roy looked back at the screen to realise that Winry had replied.

**Wrench-Of-Death says: **Yes, only a week ago, and I didn't know that he was drinking only until Paninya told me yesterday.

**. . says: **Oh.

**Wrench-Of-Death says: **Well, I'd like to hit him with my wrench but I can't, because of the heap of work I've got.

**Wrench-Of-Death says: **And I've got to go. Talk to you sometime!

**Wrench-Of-Death logged out.**

_KNOCK KNOCK!_

"Who's there?" Riza called.

"It's ME!" the Major boomed.

"Oh, damn," the Colonel sighed, logging out. "I was hoping that I didn't have to meet him today. What does he want now?"

"I heard that Edward Elric is drunk, and the Fuhrer suspected that YOU were the ONE who introduced him to drinking," the Major continued, and Riza tutted.

"..."

**Scar and KITTIES:3 log in...**

**KITTIES:3 says: **Hello, Scar.

**Scar says: **...

**KITTIES:3 says: **Umm... so, how's life?

**Scar says: **...

**KITTIES:3 says: **Hello?

**Scar says: **...

**KITTIES:3 says: **HELLO? DO YOU HAVE A BRAIN? Not that I have one, but... AT LEAST I'M SMARTER THAN YOU!

**Scar says: **...

**KITTIES:3 says: **I give up. GOODBYE.

**KITTIES:3 logged out.**

"What a dumbo!" Al complained. "All he can type is three full stops!"

...

...

**PoX's Note:** You know it's a hassle typing Roy's name? But it's fun too. And the story must've been fun as well, I take it? Well, my author's note on the bottom is going to be short because I'm tired and want to go back to sleep again. Special Happy New Years to the Gem Alchemist and the other Alchemist and to everyone else! I'm going to sleep. GOODNIGHT! Oh, and Day Two of our MSN FMA adventures will be updated weekly. Or sooner, because it's the holidays. Bye!

...


	2. Day Two

**It All Started Because Of MSN  
**_**by: **__iSleep_

...

**PoX's Note:** Welcome back! I updated sooner than I thought, but I'm going off to Adelaide soon, so I've got to update everything before I go. This will probably be the latest update in a long time – or not – so please be patient... So, if I didn't say Happy New Year, Happy New Year. There, I'm done. Well, it's 4:10pm now in Australia, so I'm in the mood for story-writing! And sorry for changing my Pen Name so often. It takes a long time to find the perfect name! Plus, I'm hoping to get a few more reviews too, because I LOVE REVIEWS TO DEATH! But just because a story doesn't have many reviews, it doesn't mean that the story is bad. I'm not saying that you have to read my stories, you should read others too ^^

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**RoyIsCool = Edward**

**SCARBORING:( = Alphonse**

**Fried-Shrimp-Is-Drunk = Roy**

**Wrench-Of-Death = Winry**

**Scar = Scar**

**I'm * Hungryyy... = Ling**

**Bodyguard Of Ling = Lan Fan**

...

**Day Two**

...

...

Winry logged on to her MSN account and skimmed through the list of online people on her friends list. "Ed, Al, Roy, Scar... all offline, huh?" she muttered. "Umm... oh! Ling's online. I wonder what's happening with him? And what a weird name too..."

She sent him a message:

**Wrench-Of-Death says: **Hi Ling. What's up?

**I'm * Hungryyy says: **I'm hungry, ney. But Lan Fan won't give me her sandwich!

**Wrench-Of-Death says: **Umm... Okay...

**I'm * Hungryyy says: **And the old man refuses to cook me something too!

**Wrench-Of-Death says: **Did you eat anything?

**I'm * Hungryyy says: **Well, I ate ten bowls of rice and pork, drank five bowls of soup, a big plate full of fish and vanilla ice-cream! But that's not enough!

**Wrench-Of-Death says: **That's a lot, you know... Even I can't eat that much. Probably a quarter of what you ate... and I would've left the ice-cream out.

**I'm * Hungryyy says: **I'm hungry...

**Wrench-Of-Death says: **I wonder why you're not fat, even after eating that much...

The next thing Winry knew was that **Bodyguard Of Ling **was added to the conversation. Maybe Ling added her in, though Winry didn't know why until she saw what Lan Fan said:

**Bodyguard Of Ling says: **Don't insult the Young Master.

**Wrench-Of-Death says: **I wasn't even insulting him, Lan Fan!

**I'm * Hungryyy says: **It's OK, Lan Fan.

**Bodyguard Of Ling says: **...

**I'm * Hungryyy says: **Now, give me your sandwich, ney.

**Bodyguard Of Ling says: **No! I deserve to eat something for once! You always eat my food, which is why I'm so damn skinny!

**Wrench-Of-Death says: **Uhh...

**I'm * Hungryyy says: **I NEVER stole your food!

**Bodyguard Of Ling says: **Oh yeah? And where did my bowl of rice go yesterday?

**I'm * Hungryyy says: **... In my stomach...

**Bodyguard Of Ling says: **Exactly. So you're not eating my sandwich, and Fu won't cook you anything.

**I'm * Hungryyy says: **Then I'll just go over to Edward's place and get something to eat there!

**Bodyguard Of Ling says: **Oh no you're not!

Winry just watched the conversation, not knowing what to type.

**I'm * Hungryyy says: **Then I'll go over to Winry's place. Winry, is that OK with you, ney?

**Wrench-Of-Death says: **Well, I guess... except I don't have much...

**Bodyguard Of Ling says: **NOO! It is MY duty to make sure that the Young Master doesn't get FAT, so you're not going!

**I'm * Hungryyy says: **I'm going, and that's 049rufjda0 fkdnfah4o3 9tq42drDQF edfoaefjaskl

**I'm * Hungryyy got disconnected...**

**Bodyguard Of Ling logged off.**

"Okay..." Winry murmured. "That was pretty weird... I wonder who else is online, that is, if anyone went on MSN while that stupid conversation was going."

She noticed that Scar was online, and decided to go and lecture him about him killing her parents.

She wrote:

**Wrench-Of-Death says: **Hello Scar...

**Scar says: **...

**Wrench-Of-Death says: **Why'd you kill my parents?

**Scar says: **... they looked edible, and I was hungry, so...

**Wrench-Of-Death says: **WHAT?

**Scar says: **Wait wait wait... no! I'm sorry! I was talking to someone else, and then I realised I sent you the message instead!

**Wrench-Of-Death says: **I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT YOU ACTUALLY KILLED THEM BECAUSE YOU WANTED THEM FOR LUNCH!

**Scar says: **No! I'm sorry! I didn't kill them because of that!

**Wrench-Of-Death logged out.**

**Scar says: **Uh-oh...

**Scar says: **490fu acnaopnLAFJOI4 TU890QEFAJD;

**Scar got disconnected ...**

**Fried-Shrimp-Is-Drunk and RoyIsCool logged in...**

**RoyIsCool says: **Hello. I see you changed your name, and it's TWICE AS AWESOME THAN THE PREVIOUS ONE!

**Fried-Shrimp-Is-Drunk says: **Uh-huh. I love it too! And your name is awesome too! Keep it that way.

"Sir, once Edward finds out, you're dead," Riza went on with her lecturing.

"Oh, don't worry, Lieutenant," Roy waved at her as though telling her it'd be fine. "Once he finds out, it'd be too late."

Riza shrugged and sighed. "Whatever you say. But if anything bad does happen, don't go running to me."

"I won't."

**RoyIsCool says: **I will, for a long, long time. Do you know there is this random person on MSN who acts like Al but isn't Al?

**Fried-Shrimp-Is-Drunk says: **Oh. What did this Al-copier say?

**RoyIsCool says: **He says that he's older brother is so annoying because he won't allow him to keep a cat and other stuff.

**Fried-Shrimp-Is-Drunk says: **Ohh...

"I think the Al-copier is actually Alphonse," Roy said to Riza.

"Well, Edward's drunk, so I'm not very surprised," Riza replied. "Although _someone_ should stop his drinking addiction."

"You mean me?"

"Who else did you think I was talking about?"

"Alphonse? Scar? Winry?"

"Well, you're talking to Edward right now," Riza replied, "so you may as well talk to him saying that drinking is bad and stuff."

"Yeah, but it's good that he's drunk, because then he says all these good comments about me that he usually won't say!" the Colonel protested.

Riza argued: "Isn't it better that he hates you?"

"... what?"

"I mean, I don't like you either..."

REJECTION!

That was the word that popped in Roy's head, and he sighed and went all gloomy and depressed.

"Sir?" Riza looked at the Colonel. "Are you OK?"

"I guess..."

Looking back at the screen, Roy realised that Ed had posted quite a numerous amount of times.

**RoyIsCool says: **So I deleted the Al-copier.

**RoyIsCool says: **...

**RoyIsCool says: **Hello?

**RoyIsCool says: **Oh, and I can't find Al on my contact list either.

**RoyIsCool says: **I'm pretty sure that I added him when I first got MSN.

**RoyIsCool says: **Are you even there?

**Fried-Shrimp-Is-Drunk says: **Well, if you want Al's email, it's

**RoyIsCool says: **But that's the same email as the Al-copier!

**Fried-Shrimp-Is-Drunk says: **Well, that's his email.

**RoyIsCool says: **Okay then. I'll go and add him now.

**Fried-Shrimp-Is-Drunk says: **You go do that.

**RoyIsCool logged out.**

"How do you add someone to your contact list when you're offline?" Roy asked. "Man, Fullmetal is weird!"

"He's drunk, that's what," Riza answered. "Now, did you tell him to stop drinking? Did it even work?"

"Of course I did," Roy lied. "But then he wanted Al's email so I told him and then he logged out."

"... You didn't, did you?"

"... No."

**Fried-Shrimp-Is-Drunk logged out.**

**SCARBORING:( and RoyIsCool logged in...**

"Oh, gee..." Al sighed. "Not him again."

**RoyIsCool says: **Hi, lil' bro!

**SCARBORING:( says: **Hi, niisan.

**RoyIsCool says: **There was someone who was copying you, you know.

**SCARBORING:( says: **Oh really?

**RoyIsCool says: **Yeah. He must be spying on us and telling me that he had a brother that did exactly what I did to you. What an idiot! Like I'd fall for that!

"But you fell for something else," Al muttered.

**SCARBORING:( says: **Hmm... well, watch out for strangers.

**RoyIsCool says: **Yeah.

Then Al noticed something.

**SCARBORING:( says: **Gasp!

**RoyIsCool says: **? What?

**SCARBORING:( says: **You're... name... is...

**RoyIsCool says: **Yeah! Isn't it awesome? Fried-Shrimp-Is-Drunk thought of the name. I need to thank him!

**SCARBORING:( says: **...

"Idiot brother of mine," Al said, and he just logged out, leaving Ed to type to himself:

**RoyIsCool says: **Hello?

**RoyIsCool says: **Are you there?

**RoyIsCool says: **Probably not.

**RoyIsCool says: **...

**RoyIsCool says: **I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world, Life in plastic, it's fantastic, You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere, Imagination, life is your creation, Come on, Barbie, let's go party, I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world Life in plastic, it's fantastic You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere Imagination, life is your creation I'm a blonde single girl in the fantasy world Dress me up, make your time, I'm your dollie You're my doll, rock 'n' roll, feel the glamor and pain Kiss me here, touch me there, hanky panky You can touch, you can play If you say I'm always yours, ooh ooh ooh I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world Life in plastic, it's fantastic You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere Imagination, life is your creation Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ah ah ah, yeah Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ooh ooh ooh, ooh ooh ooh Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ah ah ah, yeah Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ooh ooh ooh, ooh ooh ooh Make me walk, make me talk, do whatever you please I can act like a star, I can beg on my knees Come jump in, be my friend, let us do it again Hit the town, fool around, let's go party You can touch, you can play If you say I'm always yours You can touch, you can play If you say I'm always yours Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ah ah ah, yeah Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ooh ooh ooh, ooh ooh ooh Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ah ah ah, yeah Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ooh ooh ooh, ooh ooh ooh I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world Life in plastic, it's fantastic You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere Imagination, life is your creation I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world Life in plastic, it's fantastic You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere Imagination, life is your creation Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ah ah ah, yeah Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ooh ooh ooh, ooh ooh ooh Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ah ah ah, yeah Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ooh ooh ooh, ooh ooh ooh

**RoyIsCool logged out...**

...

...

**PoX's Note:** I had a laugh there... *ROFL* Well, that concludes this chapter – or day – and I hoped that you enjoyed that. If you are having a very fun holiday/school day, well, I'm having fun too! I'm going to Adelaide! I'm going to Adelaide! And then going to Kangaroo Island, but it's weird because Kangaroo Island has no kangaroos in it. Then why the hell is it called that then? How totally weird. Well, I promise I won't change my Pen Name {PoX's inner thoughts: Umm... not sure about that... hehe} and I'll try to keep my profile picture the same so you will recognise me {PoX's inner thoughts: Or maybe not...}. So, I'm done for my author's notes for now. Enjoy FanFiction like I'm enjoying it!

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End file.
